Marva Jean (2000 - 2015)

I am extremely sad to report Marva Jean died last Saturday in a paddock accident. She died three weeks before she was due to give birth to a Harbor the Gold. I have spent the last week 80% extremely sad for her and 20% in self-pity for the bottomless bad luck I seem to incur with horses (I admit that the 20% is extremely selfish on my part).

Except for my wife and a close friend, I have been unable to talk about her passing. It is simply too sad for me and I am an extremely private person when it comes to family and matters of the heart. (To my friends who sent texts, I am sorry. Not until this afternoon have I been able to deal with the loss).  Also, I wanted to keep her passing to myself in hopes that the reality I was living wasn't true.

Putting these words on the screen today has been difficult (If anyone out there is thinking to himself or herself “This guy is too emotional about his horses” you can elect to stop reading. I refuse to live in a world where I don’t care about them.). However, I thought I would write something, not for condolences, but it wouldn't be fair if she was just another statistic or something that people glance over. She deserves to be remembered for what she was: a champion. I also was hoping that writing about her would be somewhat therapeutic for me (so far, it is not working). I also don’t want to explain what happened to her over and over again to my thoroughbred industry friends when they read a blip about her death in passing.  I am hoping to get the grief of those conversations out of the way now.  Finally, and most importantly, it is my hope that after reading this people will continue to realize that the lives of these animals are fleeting and that maybe we will all cherish and love our horses more tomorrow than we did today (and maybe some carrots).

I can write the basic stats that everyone writes about horses when they die: Stakes wins, money earned, etc., but she was much more than just a racehorse or a broodmare to me. Simply put, she exemplified what I love about these animals and the athletic feats they perform. She outran her pedigree and showed heart in all of her endeavors. She was an excellent mother and the first broodmare that I owned.

She was also kind. In the last month I was looking for a broodmare in Kentucky and California to complement Marva. Part of the search criteria included looking for a mare who was as kind as Marva so they could live out there retirement years together in a paddock at my future farm. For now, I am suspending that search.

When I started buying horses it was requested that I not become emotionally attached to these animals. For the last five days, they have been correct. Despite the grief, I can’t abide by that request. This industry simply doesn’t mean that much to me if I cannot love these horses. I may grieve numerous times before my days are over but I would rather my animals be loved than for me to get an emotional free pass about their death.  

I take solace in the fact that I was part of the quality of life she received.  Very few horses get that type of treatment.  I thank the Griffin Place family for providing her with a home and care in the last years of her life. They cared and fed her every day. 

Marva, you were a champion and so much more than an agricultural commodity. As much as it hurts, I plan to carry on with your daughter in hopes that there is good news at the end of this shit sandwich. Hopefully, she will be as good of a mom as you. Some sunny day.

With an Extremely Heavy Heart,

Will